What’s it About?
By day Abby Russell is a dedicated nurse, someone you wouldn’t hesitate to trust your life with. But by night, her real work begins.
Directed by Douglas Aarniokoski
1 out of 10
There are some horror movies who get a pass with horror fans for simply offering excellent gore, or a load of tits and ass.The next step would be that said movie would contain an actual story and sometimes that can lead to a finished product which is just a tad more then the sum of its components. “Nurse 3D” tries to fit into that gray area of horror but ultimately doesn’t.
It is a 82 minute crap ride through the darkest depths of horror. But, having said that, there are some bright sides. As marketing is all to eager to show you, there’s a lot of gratuitous nudity from main lead (and nurse) Paz de la Huerta, as well as Katrina Bowden (whom most of us now from her role in “30 Rock”).
So, if that’s the thing driving you when picking out a movie, look no further: tits and ass aplenty. In terms of horror, tension, directing and everything else which makes up the quality of a movie, it is well below sub-par. It’s a finely shot and lit movie, but it just doesn’t work. What doesn’t help is that Nurse Abbey who is her own self proclaimed killer of cheating men, is by no means like-able. She is more wooden then Kristen Stewart in her acting and her voice is so annoyingly slooooow in pronouncing words that when I got to the point of actually fast forwarding the movie, her voice sounded normal on double speed (this is no joke). It’s like she’s in a spelling bee, it’s THAT slow.
Katrina Bowden is a fine actress but the wafer thin storyline along with bad dialogue and a by the numbers story doesn’t help anyone. The gore, which is more CGI then practical (hence the 3D part) is awful and the entire movie serves as a good reason to stop future similar horror movies from ever being released. I have nothing good to say about this horrible 82 minute death ride except: avoid, avoid, avoid. Or, as Paz de la Huerta would say: “Aaaaaaavooooooiiiiiiiiiid.”